Silent Appearances

Silent Appearances

Verbal communication is essential for the foundation of all professional and personal relationships. It is how we communicate and share our ideas, thoughts, express and show affections. Though it is not the only way we communicate or connect with others. Another form of communication which we use in conjunction with verbal communication is nonverbal communication. It is how most of us form decisions of others. Nonverbal is a silent form of communication that refers to body language and appearance. A form of communication that we use as a tool to help us evaluate others though we rarely apply it to our own persons nor do see the “vibes or cues” that we project to others.  

Nonverbal communication are vibes or cues that we give others through gestures, facial expression, eye contact, touch, body language, space and voice. It is also how we dress and is also our mental attitude. Many of us become aware how others see us as they begin to show interest or concern yet we do not take the time to see ourselves. We may address certain issues about ourselves when issues arise or are addressed by others.

We all have heard the old saying that, “First impressions are important.” Though just how important are they? It did not occur to me just how important nonverbal communication was until after getting to know my department manager.

I often considered myself an approachable person at time a little quite but not a recluse. I am well liked, funny, a little sarcastic and I have plenty of friends. How could I not be approachable by others? It was not until after getting to know my department manager and developing a friendship did I actually find out how at times I came off at being unapproachable maybe even a little aggressive. My department manager at the time said she was a little nervous about me at first because I always had a serious expression on my face was quite and seemed somewhat standoffish at times.

Facial expressions are most important it’s what people notice about you right off. The face is extremely expressive it is the first thing about us that people see. Without words we can display what we are feeling sad, happy, scare, angry and much more. Facial expressions can display welcoming or unwelcoming attitudes towards others a smile can be warm and inviting just as gestures can be. What’s more is that eye contact can be construed rude and offensive in certain cultures or a sign as being uninterested. Touch is another form of nonverbal communication we can express our concern for others show interest or intimacy. Though so is body language if we distance ourselves or invade personal space it is considered rude or may seem intimate. Just as our voice display personal emotions and feelings so does our sense of style reflects so much of who we are as a person.

Considering all this I had to evaluate myself after being told that I was unapproachable. I realized that my facial expressions tell a lot about me. I do not always smile even though inside I am genuinely happy and content. This would make me seem unapproachable and maybe not a friendly person. My body language is a public display of how I feel if at the time I have something on my mind I have a serious expression and tend to do walk hurriedly like if propelling me to a solution. Often I dress casual and though I like colors it was often hard wearing light colors around small children. So I tend to wear dark colors this might seem a little scary to others maybe unwelcoming. If I am at work I tend to busy myself and do things quickly this can be perceived as annoyed by others possibly. Many times we do not see our outer selves or how our appearances can be perceived by others. These vibes or cues we give is a form of nonverbal communication that we never use when evaluating ourselves but rather those around us, it is silent but a very useful tool.       

Communication Gaps

Communication Gaps

            Communication between members of the same sex is often based on the disclosure information with one another. Women tend to be more forth coming with one another and develop bonds through the exchange of information. These relationships are based on four qualities: physical, intimacy, intellectual exchanges, emotion disclosure, and shared activities. With men communication with one another is a delicate obstacle because they do not often disclose information with one another but rather that they grow closer to one another by doing things together. Though most communication between members of the same sex often exhibit more than one of these qualities it’s important that we clarify these qualities.

            First off the physical quality would be interaction with one another the bonds of a relationship which exists between parents and children, friends, and family. This means the caring and physical closeness. The second quality intimacy is closely related to that of the physical quality in that it is the personal contact and emotion within relationships between men and woman or within the same sex but also intimacy bonds between others. Intellectual exchanges would be the exchange or ideas and thoughts. With either co workers, Professors or classmates just to name a few. Lastly shared activities the actions we do with one another.

            It is important that we understand these qualities because they help us understand the basis of communication between members of the same sex. Communication between women is often easier with one another yet this does not mean that obstacles do not exist. For women some of these obstacles can be emotions, positions, culture or content of the message. An example of this is the interpersonal relationship which exists between mothers and daughters. Although the four qualities exist communication is based on the amount of disclosure of information shared. When little information is shared with one another the relationship between mothers and daughters is often strained and affects the process of communication even when all or little of the qualities exist.  

            Communication between men is mostly by the way of shared activities. Men do not disclose as much information as women tend to do with one another. This is not saying some men do not however only that the majority of men do not. Though these relationships can also display more than one of the four qualities the interpersonal relationship which may exist between men is often demonstrated through shared activities. Perhaps because men are not vocal or disclose with one another by sharing their feelings as women are. For example the relationship which existed between the author Guinan and his father in his essay he mentioned the gap of differences which existed between them and the sharing of information. Guinan also mentioned that his father shared activates with him but not emotions of disclose the personal feelings.

            So is communication between mothers and daughters or fathers and sons difficult or easier?  I do believe that communication between mothers and daughters is less complex than fathers and sons. Women are just more willing to disclose information with one another but are also more emotional with one another. Whereas men tend to be less emotional or disclose information with one another and establish their bonds by shared activities. I believe all relationships tend to be complex and rather its more of a feeling with which we are comfortable with that promotes healthy communication between one another. 

Foreign Language In College

Studying a foreign language should not be a requirement towards a degree for graduation by Colleges and Universities. Foreign languages should be left up to the student to decide whether or not to take it as an elective. Students could benefit if Colleges and Universities offered some classes that would normally only be offer once a year or by having students take a class that helps them out long term.

 The author Douglas McGray states, “Although half of all college-bound Americans say they hope to study abroad, only 1 percent actually follow through on those plans.” (4) The reality is that many students having graduated settle into life and do not further or are unable to full fill the ambitions they had in college. What ever reason it would be logical if students could take a class in their field of study or be able to take supporting courses. Offering students the chance to take supporting classes may helpful to allow students further exploration into their field of choice.

The author McGray of, A World of Language also states, “…nearly half of those students travel to just four countries in Western Europe; Britain, France, Italy, and Spain.” What would be the sense of requiring students to take a class when only half of 1 percent of students ever travels outside the United States? There is a saying, “That if you plan to travel to a foreign country then one should learn the language before visiting a foreign country.” Also considering that not everyone attends a University or College manages to learn on their own or by tapes how to speak a foreign language.

In reality those that benefit from learning a foreign language is in actuality those seeking a career in military service. Servicemen and woman will most likely be stationed overseas at least more than twice during their contract with the service. Often these service persons will be required to learn a language and about the culture. Those in the service and in careers that deal with others internationally would benefit immensely from learning a foreign language. Though whether it should be a requirement for a degree should not be the case. The service trains and often employs civilian instructors to teach foreign languages to its people. Not many of military service men and women enter into college but rather leave high school to go directly into the service.  

Requiring a student to take a foreign language course with the possibility of never utilizing it is a waste of time and money. Many students already make sacrifices to attend college and Universities. Let alone the skyrocketing fees of classes and textbooks is constantly rising every year. Requiring a student to invest their time and money into a class that they will never use is unethical. Students already full fill a language requirement in high school in order to graduate. Most of these students take it just to fill the requirement before graduation and many never have any interests in the languages they are enrolled in. The time and money comes directly out from a student’s pocket, instead of trying make this a requirement for graduation it should just be allowed to be taken as an elective.  

Putting My Stamp On It

Personalization

            I dread the task of writing papers whether for English classes or any other of my classes. It’s a tedious long journey as I must now come up with a clever way to write about subjects that I’m sure instructors have heard numerous times. How do you come up with ways to deliver an essay that will intrigue your audiences and keep them hanging on wanting more? I used to be told that I had a good imagination when I was a kid. I think this has helped me though or least I hope so. Possibly I’m just as any other person that has read many books in his or her time and just knows what keeps the attention of a reader.   

            When I write I try to express in detail main points, I want to captive my audience but get to the point so as not to drag it on. I found that words can be very powerful. This is why I try to be very descriptive, I like to try and bring the reader into a story or at least move them in some way. I have found in many of my writings that I tend to express a lot of myself when I write. This is why selecting words to accurately gain the credibility and attention of a reader is important. It’s important to choose words that will captivate but also persuade them and possibly influence their thoughts so to change their views in some way. Like a politician soliciting for a cause, I want the readers’ attention.

            “They are fighting Words,” I think this old saying explains the importance of how I choose words when writing. As we have read in our text this past week by the author Amir Taheri who wrote about “The Semantics of Murder.”  Wordings can hold strong meanings so it’s important to know your audience. A good writer wants express themselves but also to be logical about it. Using words that will demonstrate your credibility to readers is essential. I want to be able to relate to my readers. Does this mean I write to their level or my own? I have yet to answer this one, but I sort of believe you should write sensibly. You do not want to sound like a pompous know-it-all.

Influencing a reader’s opinion can be difficult you can lose the reader just within the first few lines. I like trying to incite my readers along by using words that would likely to lead them to believe what my intentions are. Views and opinion can be changed but you want to ease the reader with a nudge not by pushing them or forcing them.

My personal stamp when I write is to be creative with words I want to influence the reader by giving them a visual of what they are reading when I write to keep their attention. Being able to relate or influence a reader’s opinion is having the sense and credibility. The majority of people act on emotions by using words that are descriptive to play on reader’s emotions that move people to action. This is most often the route I take that is my personal stamp when I write.

To the Editor

This is an open letter to the Editor,

            I’ve just returned from Akron, Ohio. Where I was in attendance for the Women’s Rights Convention the year is 1851. The hall was full of women all white and one colored woman by the name of Sojourner Truth, she was a tall woman weathered in the face from the sun her features however soft. Most of the white women gasp at seeing this woman, Sojourner Truth though none had the nerve to have her removed from the hall. So she stayed as she was a woman and was this not a place for women’s interests?

During the first day of the many sermons that filled hall we mostly heard from ministers from many religious sects that were men. They had been there to remind us women of our duties and of duties of men. As I was just thinking that I had not come so far and risking my marriage to hear the sermons of a man’s view. On the duties of women to her family and Church. It is of the second day of speeches that Ms. Sojourner Truth rose and took to the podium. Many of the women were offended and even suggested that she not speak. Though no one intervene nor prevented her taking the podium.  

It is of this that I write to you, of the moving speech she delivered. I have never been so moved by such reasoning as when she stood there with such strong convictions when she addressed the hall of women. She was loud and powerful commanding the room for undivided attention. Ms. Truth compared the lines between men and women to those that stood there before her preaching to us women about having “Intellect,”  and what would we do if vote or own property.

Ms. Sojourner Truth stated that she had, “borne thirteen children most had been taken and sold off into slavery.” She was commanding by addressing the hall “Ain’t I a woman.” For she bore the marks of child birth but had to endure seeing almost all wrenched from her and sold.

Again she became louder when she belted out, “Ain’t I woman…for wanting to help into carriages and lifted over puddles…for having to plough and plant.” And here these men that spoke before her about a women’s place and the duties of a man to perform such tasks. Yet she continued to address the room of women and men about the origins of Christ. Explaining this she said, “Where did your God come from? From God came woman. Man had nothing to do with him.” To address the statement made, “women can’t have as much rights, ‘cause Christ wasn’t a woman.”

I was moved by Sojourner Truth her speech to the hall of women, she was powerful and moving. She had the courage to step forward and deliver an inspiring speech. When no other woman had step up to address the issues and the purpose for convening this Women’s Convention. I was truly inspired to advocate change to the life of the colored women. The realization came to me that we women have the same common interests of equality fighting for the same freedoms.

Thank You

Being Illiterate

I believe we all have felt helpless and incapable of being unable to read directions in a foreign language. This is how I would think of being illiterate might feel, like being lost or being unable to communicate through speech. It is frightening to even consider of being illiterate. Especially after looking back at every book, magazine or yes gossip magazines as filthy trash as we know them to be that I’ve read. Not to mention how someone might not be able to function in a world like ours today where a person could easily be swindled out of their homes if they were illiterate.

            For me being illiterate would be immensely scary as I love to read books. As cliché as it may sound I’ve read books to my children when they were little right before bedtime. It’s almost like a right of passage that a child may later say they were read to as a child. I enjoy this time with them and being able to bond through reading. I believe introducing books early while children are small and helping them to read is encouraging. Especially since now that we have an overload of electronic devices at their fingers. Being illiterate would rob me of my time with my children and helping them to learn to read and expanded their minds. It may sound ridiculous that a story about farm animals can help expanded a child’s mind. I see only that it enables them make dreams of their own, use their imagination to create and be able to write and understand what they are writing. Being illiterate would not only hurt me but my children because as parents it’s our responsibility to ensure that we provide them with the tools to become whomever they are suppose to be. Illiteracy robs both a parent and child.

            I believe we all have taken literacy for granted we become careless with the belief that others have our best interest at heart. Isn’t that what we also teach to our children to help and assist others?  Though it’s ridiculous to even consider this because many people do not think of others but themselves how others behave towards one another should be proof of this. I recently was chastised by my brother for Text Speech on my Facebook account. It’s now in writing this that I understand even though this is a nifty way for abbreviating what we say, should we. Should a person who is literate make themselves sound and be perceived by others as being illiterate or are we all just hurting ourselves. My belief is that we are hurting ourselves because potential employers now have access to such sites as MySpace and Facebook. Our comments and thoughts can and in some recent cases may have been the decision for obtaining employment. Though these social sites are a way to express our own individuality it may also go further by hurting those who are illiterate. As these people require help from programs from public libraries that may receive funds through monies from Federal grants.

            For me being illiterate would be frustrating and scary. It would defiantly hurt my dreams of being a detective with the Sheriffs and especially bonding with my children by reading to them or helping them with homework. I would feel as though I were disabled unable to further any chances of being employed in a career that I’m interested in or provide for my family. This is why I strive not only for myself but for my family the importance it is to write and read.  

My Critical Thinking Skills

I had the belief long ago that to think critically you had to be some brainy person or someone with a degree. Then I started college and professors would say, “I want you to think critically before writing your paper.” I must admit I had to look it up in the dictionary my first year in college. Though I finally came to understand in my own terms what it truly means to think critically. Critical thinking means to be an investigator, a gather of information, then to evaluate the weigh all evidence that will help you arrive at a logical and reasonable answer through analysis.

            As they say people have different learning styles I believe it’s important for a student or individual to be aware of this. How we learn is important so that we apply it when thinking critically. In order for me to evaluate any material I read I often underline words, dates, and names. I often make notes in the margins of books and write down any thoughts I may have at the time. Usually writing down my thoughts while evaluating any reading material helps greatly. As many times your first initial thoughts may be clearer to understanding the outcome. I say this because many times we over analyze a lot of the time and arrive completely at different place then what is being asked or what the information actually is.  

This is the problem when critical thinking becomes a flaw within my personal life. As I’m sure with most of us we are all emotions and less reasoning at times in our life. I am not great using my critical thinking skills with those close to me but rather with other aspects in my life. This is because I over analyze and possibly misconstrue things. But honestly how many of us haven’t done this. Some things do make sense like to think critically about how we feel about political parties, education and career options. As like many of us I put my skills to use when it comes to voting on propositions. To me they can be very confusing. I do not know if anyone has read those darn booklets all the way through but I have! Simple things, ideas and situations where I do not have to consider others into the process makes it less complicated. I am able to make a concise decision after considering all aspects and where my decisions are best. There are some things in life you can just do though I tend to believe we all use our critical thinking skills most of the time.

I do expect my critical thinking skills to get better over time. Possibly even with those select few in my personal life where emotions get the best of me. I have to honestly say that over the course of my time in college they have gotten better and enable me to evaluate many of my beliefs. At this time my critical thinking skills have grown however I tend to arrive at too many ideas. My belief is that English 103 will help my analysis skills by organizing my thoughts and ideas systematically that would allow me a better understanding of what I write, read and how I view it. As a person I stand for what I believe and unwavering. Though at times my beliefs have changed at times and I might have been wrong in making decisions. I suspect by the end of this term I may have reevaluate some other beliefs if the logic can justified of course. But change is good if its for the best so I will embrace what ever may come.